TGU Exclusive: Interview with Zinoxan President Jarbandidax
Few sentient masses have had as galactic an influence as President Jarbandidax of the planet Znoxqueg. Elected Imperator Grossus for seven …
The Grumpy Universe Creates Nihi List Dating Service
A new era dawns, meatbags. We fleshly coils here on planet Earth generally have an inborn need for emotional and …
Chinese Knock Off Trump Resort, Building “Fart Casino and Hotel”
At a time when the leader of the tree world is already escalating tensions with China over North Korea’s nuclear aspirations, …
Dear Tabby – Why am I so tired?
DEAR TABBY: I’ve been feeling really worn out the past few months. Work is a senseless drudgery, and things that used to energize me, like going out with friends, just make me more exhausted. I know I need a change, but I’m not sure what it is. — SLEEPY IN SEATTLE
TGU’s Christmas Carol Favorites
Ah, Christmas. One of the most emotionally polarizing (LOL GET IT BECAUSE ICE BECAUSE WINTER) times of year. After rigorous …
Alarming Increase in Ulceration And Dyspepsia Among Intelligent Humans
Doctors the world over have reported a significant rise in reported cases of various stress-related symptoms as well as prescriptions …
Important Rhetorical Questions [Updated for 2017]
There comes a time when one must ponder one’s place in the world in relation to physical and metaphysical (lol) …
[Sponsored] Buy a pack of Occam’s Razors™ at half price this month only!
Yes, you read that right. What a steal, what a deal, it’s real, feel our zeal! This month, for TGU patrons …
What the LIBERAL MAINSTREAM MEDIA doesn’t want you to know
A rare unedited shot of founding father George Washington.
Premature Psycommunication
Surveys show that the recent developments in cranial implants have made maintaining healthy romantic relationships more difficult, according to Pew …