All Businessmen Go to Hell Announced for Holiday 2020
In a bid to revive the faltering tradition of 2D animated feature films, legendary animator Don Bluth founded Bluth Studios, …
Track Meat Launches Employee Incentivization Nanotechnology
SAN FRANCISCO, PACIFIC STRATOSPHERE, 12/03/2219 — Silicon Island newcomer Track Meat International Inc. (NASDAQ: TMI) today announced general availability of …
Local Sustainability Advocate Vows to Inseminate 500 Million Women
Craig Yoder, insurance salesman and Chair of the local Tightwad Treehuggers environmental activist organization, announced today on Twitter that he …
God Forms Limited-Time-Only New Gender from Adam’s McRib
Heavenly Storehouses Manufacturing Inc. announced today at its Worldwide Divinity Conference that it would be bringing a new human sex …
Universe Trials Existence Opt-In
The Universe announced today that it has begun A/B testing a new prenatal questionnaire with a subsection of its unborn …
Half of Jesus’ Apostles Women, Two Gay
Not to be outdone by JK Rowling’s escapades in retconning published literature, The Almighty God Yahweh today sent the world …
Doctors Find Three Racist Bones in Joe Biden’s Body
Following public denial of rumors of bigotitis, former Vice President Joe Biden was overtaken by a bout of logorrhea Tuesday …
God Appalled by Concept of Hell
The Almighty manifested at a St. Louis Cardinals game today for a father-son-holy ghost outing. After a long absence from …
Talking During Movie Ruled Unconstitutional, Capital Offense
President Trump, in flagrant disregard of the doctrine of separation of powers, today declared via Twitter that saying anything during …
Google to release Shh, the Savior of Remote Workers
Google (NASDAQ: GOOGL) unveiled its latest hardware offering today at the Summit for Sugarcoating Capitalism in San Francisco. Targeted at …