Church wins in landmark Santos v. Nye case, protecting total fabrications
The SCOTUS passed down its ruling today in the Santos v. Nye case, a messy, drawn-out litigation between Bishop Evan …
Category: Stuff
Welcome, my tiny meat blobs.
Existential “Hug-Me Dready Bear” Hits Shelves this Week
Hasbro unveiled its new must-have toy of the holiday season: the Hug-Me Dready Bear. This cuddly li’l friend mumbles a number …
Local Nonagenarian Accuses Nat King Cole of Ageism
Local woman Evelyn Sue Rubenacker, 93, is suing the estate of Nathaniel Adams Cole, known by his professional name Nat …
Slug Bug Expansion Pack
‘Tis the season for terrible road trips to see worse family, eat awful fruit cakes, and receive abysmal gifts. Thankfully, …
Research suggests ‘The Circle Game’ originated with early man
Anthropologists at Ohio State University have published a controversial paper in American Anthropologist positing early man as the creator of “the …
Senator Bernie Sanders runs on “Crunchwrap Supremes for Everyone” for 2020 election
True to his socialist roots, Senator Bernard Sanders (I-Vermont) today declared his bid for the US presidency on a truly …
Scientists redefine true meaning of Christmas, black hole opens in Indiana
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration today issued a statement regarding the formation of a microsingularity in the vicinity of …
New: Karlx Marx Snack Mix!
If you don’t share, it’s off to the chewlag for you. Also coming soon: Academia Nut Cookies!
Dear Tabby – The Age of Boredom
DEAR TABBY: I’m getting up there in age, and a great many of my friends have passed on before me. …
Bidding Concludes for Lunar Billboard Space
The Free Market Astronomical Union presided this week over the first-ever interplanetary property auction, awarding contracts for advertisement slots on …