GCWM Approves New Frustration Unit of Measurement

Your doctor may start giving you drastically different numbers for your blood pressure, but there’s no need to be alarmed.

The General Conference on Weights and Measures today coronated the new augh unit for official use. Named so as the Anthropic Unit of General Harriedness, its variants include the kiloaugh and the milliaugh.

Though originally proposed in 1943, the unit only recently gained popular support in light of recent events. The news of its acceptance came in an update to The International System of Units (SI), the mouthpiece in which the GCWM defines the ubiquitous SI units used worldwide in scientific endeavors. With such classics as the meter and the gram, you’ve undoubtedly come in contact with their oeuvre, even if you live in a depraved state.

The augh is a derived unit defined as pressure divided by man-hour, or in SI units, kPa / € (similar to the avdp. psi / $, though the conversion formula varies with exchange rates).

Proposed alternates for the unit’s name included IKEA Assemblies, FUBARs, capitalisms, and miseries. Though billed as an important component of measuring the human health cost of economic activity, none of the governments we reached out to had interest in publishing figures with the new unit, the news of which has caused a spike in self-reported aughs.

This story will be updated as it develops.