Local Man Spends Whopping 15 Minutes Cultivating Inner Peace

Georgetown native Kyle Wells dwelt on all the good things in his life for a total of 15 minutes last Monday, according to local witnesses. He reportedly did so without checking social media or watching a screen of any sort for the entire duration.

“Yeah, I just… things are going well,” says Wells. “I have a roof over my head, plenty of good food, friends and family who love me, I’m healthy… the list goes on.”

Many mental and physical health experts say gratitude is an important ingredient to living a happy life, but most were flabbergasted to hear of Wells’ marathon run.

“I tell my patients to reframe negative thoughts and make note of what’s good in their lives all the time, but I never imagined… 15 whole minutes?!” says Deborah Getty, a licensed professional counselor. “Nobody has it that good.”

Wells has since checked Twitter and become as salty as the rest of humanity once again.