God Forms Limited-Time-Only New Gender from Adam’s McRib

Heavenly Storehouses Manufacturing Inc. announced today at its Worldwide Divinity Conference that it would be bringing a new human sex to market. Dubbed the McMan, it is a limited-time variant of the standard 137-pounder Man and Woman humans available at most uteruses worldwide.

God, Chief Engineer at HSM, explains in the announcement video that “I went to a drive-thru and caused a suburban man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, I took one of the man’s McRibs and then closed up the place with fries. Then I made a McMan from the rib I had taken from the man.”

HSM has launched a marketing campaign across broadcast and digital media imploring its fans to “Go have sex right now if you want one–conception is available for a limited time only!” and took the wraps off its new corporate slogan, “I’m gestatin’ it”.

HSM Inc. declined to comment on what McMen are actually made of, prompting concerns of a supply chain involving GMOs.