The Grumpy Universe Creates Nihi List Dating Service

A new era dawns, meatbags. We fleshly coils here on planet Earth generally have an inborn need for emotional and physical intimacy, but it’s rough out there. Boy howdy, finding that special someone can be stressful. I have the squirts right now just thinking about it.

There’s a litany of options out there both online and off for the plebeians of the world to match up their parts, each with its own quirk or gimmick. But we’ve noticed a striking gap in the catalog: a place for you and for me. A place for the dejected and depressed victims of uninvited existence. A place for amour to blossom even amidst anomie. A place for people to scream together in terror of the abyss.

Enter Nihi List, our premier dating service created to spice up the lives of the despairing. We want to connect you with a community with which you can lament a lack of a sense of real cohesion and rational order. Pluck a random partner from the pile in poetic reflection of your meaningless natal expulsion from the peace of oblivion. Find in him or her or zhim brief respite from toil and torturous rumination, higher functions swallowed up by blissful carnal autopilot.

We’re polishing the odds and ends on the website and hope to go live within the next few weeks. Membership will be free in the sartrean sense.