TGU’s Christmas Carol Favorites

Ah, Christmas. One of the most emotionally polarizing (LOL GET IT BECAUSE ICE BECAUSE WINTER) times of year. After rigorous polling of a randomized population (at least three people I cornered in the break room) as well as a control group (at least three people I did not corner in the break room) I have compiled this comprehensive list of the Absolute Best™ holiday tunes.

Here are the results:

• Grandma got run over by the popo
• Everything is Fuckin Stupid (To the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic)
• Nothing we have heard on high
• Away from a Man(a)ger
• Do you hate what I hate?
• God test ye, weary tiny men
• Hark! The nihilist thinker screams
• It came upon a lunch break near
• Men Rule the World (with brute force strength)
• O Come, All ye Wage Slaves
• O Holy Shit, The world is fuckin’ broken
• We three kings of fascism are
• Whose Child Is this?
• Shite Christmas
• It’s beginning to look a lot like a hellhole
• Silent Fight
• Have yourself, some sherry over Christmas
• The most PTO days of the year
• Crappy Holidays
• Fuck all of this shit (to the tune of Feliz Navidad)
• It’s a shitstorm, everywhere
• Let’s escape, let’s escape, let’s escape
• We wish you a new position
• All I want for Christmas is to quit my job
• Sing We Now of This Mess

Doesn’t that just warm the cockles of your heart?