Important Rhetorical Questions [Updated for 2017]

There comes a time when one must ponder one’s place in the world in relation to physical and metaphysical (lol) self and other parts in this vast melange of imbecilic NPCs butting heads with entropy. We herein present the most pressing unanswered questions our resident philosophers have put forth before the almighty abyss:

  • Do some people enjoy surveying their own excrement (ex post crapto) for the same reason an artist surveys his own masterpiece–recognition of the greatest work their lives have produced?
  • If epithelial means “over nipple”, and the outer layer of skin is called epithelium, are we all giant nipples?
  • Why isn’t it ,,, instead of …? Makes much more sense,,,
  • Do mouths become like familiar faces to dentists?
  • At what point does obsessing over the idea of owning a water cannon become unhealthy?
  • Is student debt really worth it?